Showing Affection

My dad never said he loved me or hugged me while he was alive. I know he loved me very much, but it was very difficult for him to express his sentiment verbally or physically. Being a traditional male, he was taught to keep his emotions deep within and, if necessary, express it subtly. A lot of Chinese males have bottled up their feelings deep within their hearts all their lives and some of them seem to be fuming like walking volcanoes, ready to explode anytime.

I may have inherited some of my father’s awkwardness at expressing affection and have found it hard to show my children love physically. We are not a family of hugging and kissing at all. I remember we used to kiss our boys when they were very small, but they would always wipe it off with their hands afterwards. I don’t think my children would let me do that now for a million dollars, nor do I have any desire to. in fact, the closest that Kathy gets to doing that is kissing their heads. “Let me kiss your head.” That’s the only way Kathy is allowed to show her love to her boys.

How does a household full of men show affection to one another? I ask you. Well, we do a lot of punching on the arm. It works just fine for us, except for Michael, who, not knowing how strong he has become after years of pumping iron, always hits too hard. I guess his punches might have something to do with my shoulder injury, which I originally blamed on my tennis playing. Michael might actually have been the culprit. Rob seems to know how frail his father is, so he started hitting me with his elbow instead. That softened the blow somewhat when he used his body language to say: “I love you dad.”

I hope my boys don’t do the same when they express their affection to their girl friends. I suggest you pad your shoulders a little if you intend to date one of my sons.