Tuesday, November 27, 2007

My Dog Katy


Christy was the dog of my choice. She was a yellow lab that I bought with one hundred dollars. It was a romantic idea for me to want to have a dog, really. I thought a real man ought to have a hunting dog, even if he does not do any hunting. Christy wasn’t all that smart of a puppy and I wasn’t smart enough to train her, so I just played “fetch” with her every evening in our fairly large backyard. I was in my early forties then and still had enough strength and energy to keep up with my puppy.

Christy just wanted to play “fetch” and that was probably the only thing she could do except for barking and eating. I had something in mind for her to do, but did not know how to get my idea across to her. She probably had the ability to learn, but her master wasn’t a trained teacher, so we just tried to get by by merely playing “fetch.” Our relationship wasn’t all that bad, but it could have been better.

Then Katy came along and things became dramatically different.

She was a blond stray dog who looked a lot like a golden retriever. Gary, one of our church members found her at his door and brought her over, asking whether we would like to keep her. Much to Kathy’s dismay, I took the offer and all the troubles that came along with having two fairly large-sized dogs. I left Katy in the backyard with Christy the first night, hoping the two retrievers would strike up a relationship, but that wasn’t going to be the case. They didn’t get along at all. What made things so much worse for me was Katy barked all night at our porch door, wanting to come inside and it nearly drove me crazy. Being a Chinese, I believed strongly that humans and beasts should not cohabit under the same roof, but I finally caved in, for it was a choice between us getting any sleep or not. Evidently Katy’s previous owner had kept her inside, for she was house-broken. She has been staying inside with us ever since.

I was relatively young then, but had found it quite difficult to keep up with two dogs, and was becoming increasingly impatient with Christy’s demand to play fetch whenever I went to the backyard. I enjoyed reading under the tree in the yard, but the dog simply wouldn’t leave me alone, and finally a decision had to be made. Christy had to go if I desired to enjoy my backyard at all. Besides, compared to sweet Katy, Christy was just too wild for me to keep up with. I put an ad in the newspaper and a lady showed up the next day and took Christy away. She was overjoyed because her husband was looking for a lab at that time and Christy was available for free.

Katy knew how to make herself invisible. She was truly a smart dog, for she seemed to know I guarded my privacy very closely and she never a single time invaded my space. I even let her sleep on the floor by my bed every night, and she gave birth to three puppies during one of those nights. I was awakened by a strange groaning in the middle of the night and saw Katy licking a puppy in a puddle of blood. She did such a good job cleaning up after herself that there was only a faint blood stain on the carpet after she was done with all her business. I kept her and her puppies in our garage and there wasn’t any cleaning up needed during the first few weeks, for Katy ate whatever came out from her litter, and when the time came, the boys and I took the puppies to the streets and gave them away in a matter of hours. Kathy was home schooling all our boys then and life was good. We were poor, but what more could a man ask than a house full of laughter and a dog that rarely barked and unceasingly wagged her tail.

Katy was an adult when we got her and we had no idea of her real age. While all our boys were doing their growing, Katy seemed to stay the same. She had another pregnancy, for a wild dog violated her when we were in Taiwan. She had eight puppies that time and it was extremely difficult for her to keep up with the cleaning, even for a responsible dog like Katy. Within a week or so after she had her puppies, our garage began to smell and we had to keep the mother and eight puppies outside. Again it didn’t take long for the boys and me to give the puppies away. There was, however, one reject though, and we had to give it away for the second time.

The boys continued to grow and followed their mother to school. By this time Kathy had found a teaching job and all three boys became regular students in a Christian school. Katy seemed to remain the same throughout the years. The boys were preoccupied by their school and new-found friends and paid very little attention to Katy, and I continued to take her for granted. She was such a sweet dog who demanded nothing and gave everything she had to us.

I don’t know how many times we tried to figure out Katy’s age, but her real age remained a mystery. She just sheds more often now and her blond hair has turned paler as days go by. She became quite ill just a few months ago and it got so bad that I was even contemplating putting her down. But she pulled through somehow and remained healthy for a few months before she had a stroke. One time she lay so still that I thought she was gone, but she wagged her tail when I called her. I have never prayed for a dog, but I did several times after she had the stroke. Praying for a dog’s recovery from illness! I surprised even myself. Katy miraculously recovered and is able to function, albeit she might have lost some of her eyesight and some freedom of mobility.

I still walk her twice a day, sometimes in sub-zero weather. Yet I have found it more and more difficult to take her out to the park nearby during the winter time, for I myself am growing old and cold weather bothers me more and more. I often see myself in my aging dog as we stroll slowly along the sidewalk, fighting against the cold wind on the high plains of Texas.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Things for which I am thankful


White thanksgiving. First time ever, I suppose.

Boys are home. Michael showing off his six pack, well, two of them are hardly visible, and William his broad shoulders, easy to lean on for someone special.

Rob not being home saved us from another defeat in the Turkey Bowl. I challenged my opponents, namely Michael and William, to play one on two in the snow, but they declined. No guts and no shame.

Rob called from the Big Apple. Not being home for the first time in twenty five years. I guess he has enough good memories to sustain him during the holiday away.

Thanksgiving meal was very good and I had the appetite to fully enjoy it.

Kathy and the boys are in good health. My dog Katy survived two bouts with severe illnesses in the last few months and came out victorious. She is still alive and kicking, albeit not as vigorous as she used to be.

I can still write and preach, and occasionally crack a joke or two that may or may not draw any laughter.

I can still do ten push-ups, the first five with ease and the last five with gnashing of my teeth. I can run a mile and walk a lot longer than that.

I am happy most of the time when nothing bothers me and the problems that I have encountered didn’t usually outlast my depression.

I have a blog that generates some comments from young people who consider that this ole man actually has something to say.

The Wolfshohl brothers and wjw, my ultimate envy of web blogging.

I still miss Ole Miss and dream about going back to Oxford to retire someday, but I am also welcoming my new love, a concubine who may actually draw me to Aggieland for good.

The Aggie war hymn seems to have the same effect on me as the time when I heard the Ole Miss band plays Dixie. A man is allowed to have two wives in this case, even though Michael tries his best to keep me from loving all things Aggie too much.

Spotted a couple of Aggie rings that I am contemplating purchasing. Ring check, anyone?

The anticipation of getting a new football coach who will take “us” (sorry Michael) to new heights that we have never been before.

I have a son who is a musician and a poet like his dad, and a doctor wannbe son who is a lot of things that I am not, a son who flew first class to China and stayed in a five-star hotel in Beijing and HK where I have never been, and a wife who is beyond compare in beauty, virtue, and grace.

My youngest will soon make a “homecoming” for his dad, TFA in Mississippi Delta.

All these things are made possible by the Father in heaven whose greatest pleasure is to spoil his children, you and me.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Rejection

“I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me.”
Ro 10:20

I might have failed once or twice hitting on girls when I was young, but surely this wasn’t one of them. I had no intention of starting anything when I tried to strike up a conversation with a young blond in the student union post office.

“I think I know you,” I said to a co-ed who had just sung in our church choir the day before. I only meant to offer a complement and that was all.

“I don’t think so,” she responded coldly and walked away. She must have done that many times, for she did it so effortlessly. I got tongue-tied a little bit and did not have the opportunity to clarify the issue at hand.

I was both rejected and insulted at the same time. The girl obviously thought I had something fishy in mind, which was a complete misunderstanding. I was probably more than twice her age and had been out of the game since the day I took my marriage vows. It was such an embarrassment and insult that I still remember the incident some twenty years later. In fact, I have grumbled about this to Kathy more than one time.

Is the Lord embarrassed about the stern expression and cold shoulder that he receives when he tries to reveal himself to people whom he loves? His heart must be enormously larger than mine, for the particular affront that I suffered seems to be gnawing at my heart when I think about it.

Being a self-proclaimed “dating guru,” I always spent time calculating the rate of my success before I made my first move of asking a girl out; therefore I was rarely turned down the few times that I made the attempt. I was simply too arrogant to take the risk of being snubbed.

Pride and inferiority go hand in hand. I wasn’t really prideful, for I had very few reasons to be, I was just feeling very insecure and being turned down would deepen my sense of inferiority. People who can take rejection well are usually very self-assured and mentally healthy. The Lord is able to take one rejection after another from the ones who are infinitely inferior to him and he continues to try to woo them. In our case, one failure at courting someone may forever keep us from making another attempt.

“It’s her loss, not yours,” I said to someone who had just been snubbed by a girl. “Had she known how great you are, she wouldn’t have done that.”

It’s our loss, not his.

The Lord is completely self-sufficient in all ways, therefore he loses nothing by our rejection and, by the same token, he has nothing to gain by our acceptance of him as our Lord and Savor. Even so, he continues to figure out innovative ways to reveal himself to us, hoping that we will finally get it and submit to him. We are the ones who stand to lose when we repeatedly turn down his overtures to us, and may never have the opportunity to walk down the aisle with the Heavenly Groom.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Worth

Worth
价值
“All have turned away, they have together become worthless…” Ro 3:12

Our intrinsic value and external worth as people are entirely different things. We should learn to tell the difference so that we will not waste our time seeking things that have no real value.

We can lower our standard of living according to the income that we generate. If we can do this, we will be pleasantly surprised to find out how little we really need to support ourselves. But we will feel that we are poverty-stricken if we live beyond our means and start to feel self-pity. There are quite a few poor people in this world who actually feel rich, but there are more relatively rich people who feel extremely poor. Being rich and poor may have a lot less to do with the amount of money that we earn than we think. It is a state of mind that can be altered by a change in our attitude.

Knowing the difference between the intrinsic and the external worth of things is a good start.

Things that last longer are more valuable that the items that don’t last at all, and the things that last beyond time surely are more valuable that the things that perish with time. We may spend our whole life time earning money, but are more than willing to give it all away to buy more time on earth when we are on our deathbed. We may become a workaholic to give our children a handsome living, but will be happy to give it all up if we are in danger of losing our children. This only goes to show that we should value eternal things over temporal things, and treasure people more than we treasure material things.

God over people, people over things, and eternity over time are the three most crucial principles that govern our lives. Our lives will become chaotic and miserable if we ignore any of these.

My uncle is the richest person in our extended family, but he has gone through one divorce and is dealing with a prodigal son who causes him a lot of pain through his wild living. Under such circumstances, I don’t think the wealth that my dad’s youngest brother possesses has as much attraction to him now as it did when he was making it and he may be willing to give some of his wealth up in exchange for something that money cannot buy.

We become worthless by seeking worthless things, for we are defined by the things that we hotly pursue.

Wealth can be generated to do things of worth, obviously. The monthly stipend that I have been drawing from the church is donated by hard-working people, and more than once I was the beneficiary of other people’s generosity. So the wealth that we have earned can either become valuable or valueless by the way we spend it, and its worth will either increase or decrease by the way we invest it.

May we never turn away from God and become worthless by pursuing things that have no eternal worth.