I suppressed my true feelings toward a person and made a valiant attempt to show affection to him, even though I had very few feelings of goodwill for the man. Does that make me a hypocrite? That is the question that I have asked myself repeatedly. If that is so, then the random incident that took place was just a reminder that I should have been true to my feelings and avoided the one against whom I still hold a certain amount of animosity.
I was merely trying to do the right thing, yet what I received from it was another insult that left a mark in my heart and an unpleasant taste in my mouth. Doing the right thing may not always be right, for people may not be appreciative when we cast a grain of rice before them.
Had I been placed in his position, I would have acted as if nothing had happened and would have tried not to call attention to the thing that caused both of us embarrassment. It would have been unpleasant to go through something such as that and, at the same time, be greeted so warmly by someone whom I still considered one of my enemies, but that is something we do routinely in order to survive in a society, with its intricate web of human relationships. Being courteous is to deny our ill feeling toward certain people and to treat them according to the standards of social norms. Does it make us hypocrites if our words and actions aren’t consistent with our feelings?
Had I been trying to be true to myself, I would have avoided going to the gathering all together or at least kept myself away from him. The problem was that I am not my own master.
Doing the right thing itself is its own reward, I suppose. Although the outcome of my action appeared to have made me a hypocrite and caused my adversary to become discourteous, I don’t believe the unfortunate incident made our relationship worse. Perhaps he at least came to the realization that I had made an awkward attempt to be friendly and, possibly, it might have even caused him dislike me less.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Embarrassing
Against my every natural inclination, I was determined to reconcile with this Christian brother with whom I hadn’t been on speaking terms for a while. I was really struggling whether to attend a gathering where I knew he would be present, but the better part of me won out and I went, knowing it would be hard to see the guy.
I tried all day to fortify my heart with much prayer and to clean up whatever bitterness I had ever had toward him. When I got to the banquet, I was, in fact, quite anxious to meet him and to express to him my good will toward him.
He was late for the meeting and I was eating by the time he came. I leapt from my table when I saw him and walked across the hall to say hi to him. “It’s so nice to see you,” I said to him with affection. “Good to see you too,” he replied, rather emotionlessly. I was trying to say something else to him but, strangely, he kept looking at his hand, which was still in my grip. “Am I squeezing too hard?” I asked. He didn’t say anything. Then I saw there was half a grain of rice on top of his hand that I must have accidentally deposited there. “O, I am so sorry. Let me wipe it off,” I said, trying to wipe it off with the napkin that I had in my left hand, but he motioned for me not to do it and walked away without saying anything.
Embarrassing, wasn’t it. I laid awake last night for a long time thinking about what had happened. I guess many a time in our lives doing the right thing may not generate the desired result. The guy may be thinking that I did that on purpose and our relationship may have worsened after this unfortunate event.
I tried all day to fortify my heart with much prayer and to clean up whatever bitterness I had ever had toward him. When I got to the banquet, I was, in fact, quite anxious to meet him and to express to him my good will toward him.
He was late for the meeting and I was eating by the time he came. I leapt from my table when I saw him and walked across the hall to say hi to him. “It’s so nice to see you,” I said to him with affection. “Good to see you too,” he replied, rather emotionlessly. I was trying to say something else to him but, strangely, he kept looking at his hand, which was still in my grip. “Am I squeezing too hard?” I asked. He didn’t say anything. Then I saw there was half a grain of rice on top of his hand that I must have accidentally deposited there. “O, I am so sorry. Let me wipe it off,” I said, trying to wipe it off with the napkin that I had in my left hand, but he motioned for me not to do it and walked away without saying anything.
Embarrassing, wasn’t it. I laid awake last night for a long time thinking about what had happened. I guess many a time in our lives doing the right thing may not generate the desired result. The guy may be thinking that I did that on purpose and our relationship may have worsened after this unfortunate event.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Strength
“And his strength left him.”
Judges 16:19
Samson fell asleep on Delilah’s lap, not knowing that his strength would be gone when he woke up. He might have thought Delilah was playing some sort of game with him and wasn’t at all concerned about his safety. He was a man of supreme self-confidence who might have thought that he was invincible. Who could blame such a man who had absolute confidence in his own strength?
Our greatest strength can easily become our biggest weakness.
People who are endowed with intelligence may have an inclination to rely on themselves and believe that nothing is too difficult for them. Such people may accomplish much in their lives, but they will eventually hit a snag one way or another along the way and they won’t know what to do when it occurs. People who are not used to asking for help may become too arrogant to ask when they desperately need other people’s assistance. The ones who have never invoked divine aid their entire life will have difficulty praying when prayer becomes the last resort. Instead of praying for mercy, I believe there are many people who do what Job refused to do - curse God and die.
His supernatural strength was given to Samson, and it could easily be taken away. The man had always been strong his entire life; therefore, he had the wrong perception that it would always remain that way. Samson should have been more thankful for his gift than he was and guarded the secret of his divine power more closely than he did. Unfortunately he appeared to have a cavalier attitude toward his divine calling and the gifts that came along with it.
Beware of putting too much confidence in whatever strength you may have, natural or supernatural, or on God’s continual favor for you. What I am isn’t necessarily going to be what I will be. What we have is only the present and our future lies solely in God’s hand. Samson was the strongest man before he fell asleep in a woman’s lap, but he became the weakest person when he woke up. In a brief moment, Samson lost everything that he used to take for granted - his strength and his freedom.
Had Samson ever looked at himself with amazement and become overwhelmed by what the Lord had done for him? Had he ever thanked the Lord for his amazing power and learned to utilize his ability to bring glory to God? The biggest mistake that he committed was to take his supernatural nature too naturally. This is the mistake that we may be committing routinely.
All our natural abilities are, in fact, supernatural, and the way we perceive and utilize them tells who we really are. An infant who takes his first step is greatly amazed by his ability to walk, but as adults we have been walking for so long that the amazement is long lost and it probably won’t return until we manage to take a baby step after an accident or a stroke.
Judges 16:19
Samson fell asleep on Delilah’s lap, not knowing that his strength would be gone when he woke up. He might have thought Delilah was playing some sort of game with him and wasn’t at all concerned about his safety. He was a man of supreme self-confidence who might have thought that he was invincible. Who could blame such a man who had absolute confidence in his own strength?
Our greatest strength can easily become our biggest weakness.
People who are endowed with intelligence may have an inclination to rely on themselves and believe that nothing is too difficult for them. Such people may accomplish much in their lives, but they will eventually hit a snag one way or another along the way and they won’t know what to do when it occurs. People who are not used to asking for help may become too arrogant to ask when they desperately need other people’s assistance. The ones who have never invoked divine aid their entire life will have difficulty praying when prayer becomes the last resort. Instead of praying for mercy, I believe there are many people who do what Job refused to do - curse God and die.
His supernatural strength was given to Samson, and it could easily be taken away. The man had always been strong his entire life; therefore, he had the wrong perception that it would always remain that way. Samson should have been more thankful for his gift than he was and guarded the secret of his divine power more closely than he did. Unfortunately he appeared to have a cavalier attitude toward his divine calling and the gifts that came along with it.
Beware of putting too much confidence in whatever strength you may have, natural or supernatural, or on God’s continual favor for you. What I am isn’t necessarily going to be what I will be. What we have is only the present and our future lies solely in God’s hand. Samson was the strongest man before he fell asleep in a woman’s lap, but he became the weakest person when he woke up. In a brief moment, Samson lost everything that he used to take for granted - his strength and his freedom.
Had Samson ever looked at himself with amazement and become overwhelmed by what the Lord had done for him? Had he ever thanked the Lord for his amazing power and learned to utilize his ability to bring glory to God? The biggest mistake that he committed was to take his supernatural nature too naturally. This is the mistake that we may be committing routinely.
All our natural abilities are, in fact, supernatural, and the way we perceive and utilize them tells who we really are. An infant who takes his first step is greatly amazed by his ability to walk, but as adults we have been walking for so long that the amazement is long lost and it probably won’t return until we manage to take a baby step after an accident or a stroke.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
2009 Resolution
New Year’s resolutions are made to be broken. We know this to be true by experience, for we all have broken our share of resolutions. If so, why make another one to fool and to disappoint ourselves at the same time. Why is this time going to be different? Surely these resolutions will be different from all the other ones, because hope is what sustains us and we will have nothing to hold onto unless we still have high expectations for ourselves and optimistic views on life in general. All our previous relationships may have ended in tears and heartache, but it does not mean our next one will be a repetition of the last ones. Fitzgerald’s Gatsby was a true romantic because his dreams and aspirations didn’t die at the moment when all things seemed to be falling apart and he was hoping against hope that Daisy would come back to him against all odds.
Rambling aside, here are my resolutions, which can be summed up in two words: reduction and addition.
First, I will make an effort to reduce, not my waistline, but my frequency of doing something that I know, either through my conscience or revelation, is wrong. Putting it more bluntly, I will try to sin less (preferably of course, not to sin at all, which, realistically and experientially, is not possible).
Second, I will make an attempt to increase, not my wealth, but my love for God and for people, which is the fulfillment of the law and the prophets. Being a one-talent person, I really don’t have a lot to contribute to the world, but one thing that I can give out freely is love; and the more I give, the more my ability to give will increase. I therefore resolve to do one good deed of love a day for people other than my loved ones.
These are my humble resolutions for the year 2009 and I challenge you to do the same. Please do hold me accountable if I fail to keep my promises in my words or actions. This resolution, mind you, isn’t made to be broken like all my previous ones.
Rambling aside, here are my resolutions, which can be summed up in two words: reduction and addition.
First, I will make an effort to reduce, not my waistline, but my frequency of doing something that I know, either through my conscience or revelation, is wrong. Putting it more bluntly, I will try to sin less (preferably of course, not to sin at all, which, realistically and experientially, is not possible).
Second, I will make an attempt to increase, not my wealth, but my love for God and for people, which is the fulfillment of the law and the prophets. Being a one-talent person, I really don’t have a lot to contribute to the world, but one thing that I can give out freely is love; and the more I give, the more my ability to give will increase. I therefore resolve to do one good deed of love a day for people other than my loved ones.
These are my humble resolutions for the year 2009 and I challenge you to do the same. Please do hold me accountable if I fail to keep my promises in my words or actions. This resolution, mind you, isn’t made to be broken like all my previous ones.
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