Pride

“It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
1 Co 13:4

Why do some men seek “trophy wives?” The answer is simple. They desire to have reputable wives to match their positions or to boost their status in society. Dragons should always seek their mates among phoenixes, we Chinese believe. Pride seems to play a vital role in our pursuit of romance.

“Will you still love your children if they are not good athletes?” I asked Michael, who seemed to consider athletic ability premier in his future children. I don’t think he knew what he was talking about since he wasn’t even dating anyone, but there seemed to be an element of pride in his supposed love for his offspring who were yet to surface.

Do we love because the objects of our love are worthy of our adoration, either by their innate attributes or their superb performances in whatever they do? For this reason most of us strive to achieve renown to measure up to our loved ones’ lofty expectations and to make them proud of us.

Love can easily be contaminated by the vice of pride.

This may not be theologically sound, but I often feel that God loves me more if he is pleased with my performance as a Christian, and he will care for me a lot less if I stumble and fall. This appears to be a projection of the notion of human affection into divine love and makes both equally imperfect. I believe the opposite of this idea may be a little more valid. God may leave us alone for a brief moment to enjoy the euphoria of our narcissistic self-importance when we are pleased with ourselves for whatever reason; but he may pour his abundant love on us when we fall flat on the ground. There is not the slightest taint of pride in God’s love for his children and he doesn’t have to be proud of us to love us.

Pride makes it very difficult for us to love the unlovable, to care for the undesirable, and to adore the deplorable, for to love is an act of identification. Our fear is we may become less desirable by loving the undesirable, less lovable by loving the unlovable. All human love is partially self-love, and there is always a trace of arrogance in it. We are who we love, therefore being prideful is inevitable in the process of loving since we all have a certain sense of pride within our hearts.

Peter found himself denying his Master before a servant girl because he was overcome by fear and shame at the moment. His pride in himself had kept him from identifying with Jesus and it was also his pride that made him weep bitterly afterward. His love for the Lord was by no means perfect, which was actually the way most of us love. We do need God’s help to love right. Even our noblest acts are in need of purification by the blood of Christ to make them acceptable before the throne.