Envy

“It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
1 Co 13:4

Romantic love is possessive by nature; therefore the relationship is always one to one, not one to many or many to one. There was perfect reason in the Lord creating for Adam only one woman. Does this mean that erotic love is envious in essence?

One of the most esteemed wives in the history of Chinese literature was Yin Liang who once spotted a beautiful woman and suggested that her husband take her as a concubine. This may sound repulsive to many people, but it was actually considered a virtuous act and lauded by many men.

To love is to have the best interest of the one whom we love at heart, and bringing a third party into the marriage surely isn’t in anybody’s interest. Sarah created a long lasting family feud by introducing Hagar into the family. Her love for her Abraham might not have been envious, but it was possessive just the same, since her goal was self-serving.

Envy is something that guards the sanctity of marriage and keeps it from the intrusion of bad elements. If this is the case, can we then assume that it is necessary for the survival of marriage love? If so, romantic love ceases to exist if envy isn’t present. Shared love isn’t romantic love at all.

Love does not envy, but since the vice of jealousy is forever present within romantic love, can we therefore conclude that romantic love isn’t pure love since it is contaminated by envy?

It’s really a modern phenomenon that people of our age are so obsessive about erotic love. This wasn’t really so in the days of old. The ancients seemed to value friendship, which was commonly considered more of a disinterested and honorable love, more than they treasured romance. Romance seemed to have been taken for granted, but friendship was pursued with great passion.

Procreation is one of the main purposes of marriage, and couples who are not passionately in love can still produce perfect children together. This seems to render romantic love unnecessary, doesn’t it? Over thousands of years, most marriages have been matched by matchmaking, yet they appear to have worked out just fine, finer than most marriages of our time.

Romantic love is overrated and perhaps it’s about time to put it in a place where it truly belongs. It’s a kind of possessive love and the Lord Jesus made it clear that he will render it unnecessary when we get to heaven. “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage,” stated the Lord. Shouldn’t we give heed to his word and not place romantic love on a pedestal and idolize it as if it were the most precious thing in the world?